Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.
Colossians 2:6&7
This is pretty simple and straightforward: I received Christ? I need to live like it! It’s so much harder to actually do; satan is constantly distracting us, telling us that something else is more important, and telling us we’re not good enough.
I feel like it’s telling us here that everything is rooted in our thankfulness. When we see God’s blessings for what they are, our whole perspective changes; what once was a burden or inconvenience is now an opportunity to grow, and what once was something pleasurable we kept to ourselves becomes an abundance we can share with others. It is so much easier to rise above satan’s attacks when we look at life this way.
I originally wrote these words in October of last year, but I easily could have written them today. What was I just saying about how it’s hard to accept grace because of satan persistently reminding us of our past? Also, I can’t be the only one who is constantly reminded that they’re not good enough… that’s pretty much satan’s daily narrative in my ear. The thing I have to remember is – no one is good enough. We ALL fall short of the glory of God. That’s exactly why we need Jesus. I pray that I can cling to His mercies, even become confident in them, the next time satan inevitably whispers those words to me again.
Vanity of vanities, says the preacher; vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?
Ecclesiastes 1:2&3
Jim pointed out that Solomon qualifies his words with “under the sun.” He’s referring to worldly work and things; without God in our lives, all our work is vain.
Today was a very Monday-ish Monday. I’ve had a headache for days, but it was much worse today. And, I really screwed up something for work. I was feeling ridiculously stupid and lazy, and I was just down. Between my head pounding and the feeling of being the dumbest person in the world, I was not in a good place emotionally. I was sitting in my daughter’s room watching her play, and tried to distract my mind with my phone (looking back, praying probably would have been a better choice…) and saw an Instagram post from Amy Weatherly that about had me in tears:
Good grief, did that hit me hard. I’m sitting here, completely losing my cool over my “job”, and I’m forgetting everything I know. I forgot about my real job, to be found in Christ at all times. There I go again, allowing satan to use other people to get to me; allowing him to distract me is what got me into trouble in the first place. But, there God goes again, too, using other people to speak to me when He knows I’m too distracted to listen directly to Him.
Then, at like 8:30 tonight, I finally sat down to do this devotion (I was craving God’s word at this point, it’s been a day)…and here are these verses from Ecclesiastes. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I keep forgetting to give God EVERYTHING. Current example: my work. I’m not trying my hardest, because I’m not doing it for Him. I’m not doing a good job. My toiling is vanity, because I’m doing my job for money, for experience – not for God’s glory. What a hard reminder I had today.
This is the current journal I’m using for my daily bible devotions. Literally every day the cover makes me stop and think. I am grateful. No matter what life throws at me, no matter what the day brings, I am thankful. Sometimes, I just need a reminder.
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. Philippians 4:11
That is the first verse I wrote out in this journal, on a day when I really needed it:
“Before I even sat down to write this morning, [my boss] called and needed me to take a check to the office in Lexington, and to run a personal errand for him while I was there. It’s days like this that really stress me out. I had already decided that I could get some background stuff done today on the computer and stay in my leggings… not happening now. I was really upset after that phone call. But then I picked up this brand new journal and on the very front was a reminder to be thankful. And then, Jim’s devotion was from this verse in Philippians… okay, I get it.
First of all, I need to be thankful that I have a job that allows me to make a little extra money for my family. And as much as I get flustered with my job sometimes, [my bosses] have been very flexible with my schedule and me taking time off for baby girl. I’m gaining valuable experience, and they trust me to do what needs to be done. It’s definitely not the worst gig in the world – most days, I can stay in my pajamas if I want, and I can plan my work around caring for my child.
Also, it shouldn’t matter what the day throws at me, I should be more like Paul. If my focus is on the eternal, then I can be content in whatever. What better opportunity than today to live that out? It’s easy to say I’m content when I can stay at home in my leggings all day, because that’s what I want to do. But, can I really put it into practice when things aren’t going the way I want or planned? I want to be so focused on God that I use whatever the world throws at me for His purpose and as an opportunity to live for Him. Lord, help me see things this way!”
In going through some of my previous bible devotions, I found this that I wrote in March. It reminded me that I already had a heart project going on when I decided to I would finally obey and start this blog… a heart project I had started to forget about in the anxiety of publishing my words.
You believe God is One; you do well. Even the demons believe – and shudder! Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless?
James 2:19&20
This passage always gets me, and makes me think of The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (such a good book if you haven’t read it!) Satan himself knows that Jesus is the Son of God, that’s why he attacks us so. Evil in the purest form believes in the one true God, so when people say they believe in God, it’s not really much of a thing to say. We are called to live our lives like we believe in God. That belief should be causing us to act in some way or another.
Where I get tripped up is that when I see the word “works” in this passage, I think I need to be out in the street feeding the hungry or teaching orphans in Africa – and if that is what God lays on my heart, then by all means, I should. However, I forget that it also just means action. How am I living differently than I would otherwise because I believe? Do I have a joy that the world can’t take away? Do I see God as Lord of all, and therefore use my time to praise His name? Do I take comfort that His plan is better when something’s not going the way I think it should? Do I use the talents and abilities He has given me to glorify Him in my day to day life? “Works” aren’t just these grandiose gestures that I usually think of, they are faith in action in our everyday lives. It’s living like we believe, not just saying we do.
Lately, after feeling like I’m not giving God my absolute all, I’ve been praying for Him to show me what I’m holding back. I think I assumed it was one big thing I was holding on to, but He’s been showing me all sorts of little daily things that I keep forgetting to hand over. My work is definitely one of these things, but it has been even smaller aspects like [Baby Girl’s] sleeping habits and what we’re going to have for dinner. I think I just assume that these things are too small for God to waste His time with, and that I can handle them myself. However, these small things are the very things satan uses to get in my head, to tell me I’m not good enough. So, they are definitely things I should be handing over to God, because He wants it all – even the [maybe not so] little things.
I’ve gotten distracted lately by focusing on giving God this big thing (my blog), and have forgotten once again to hand over every seemingly minute aspect of my life. Because of this, I can once again feel satan wedging in, using these tiny worries I have to give me big anxieties and insecurities. I can tell that I’m not giving God my all, only a small, specific portion of my life that I have divided out just for Him. This is a scary realization, and I pray that He makes me more aware of the times I try to “go it alone.”
I wrote this at the beginning of March, and I just love everything about it. It needs to be shared with you all:
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
Acts 20:24
I had to look up the verses around this one to really understand what was going on. Paul is talking to Ephesian leaders about his life. He says he doesn’t always know where the Holy Spirit is going to lead him, but he can be sure that he will most likely face some sort of adversity, persecution, or physical harm. But to him it’s worth it. His physical being, he realizes, is not as important as the task God has charged him with. So, even if he is facing trials, he is happy to do it.
IT’S NOT ABOUT ME.
My poor, tired, teething baby. I feel you, girl.
I sat down to do this devotion yesterday, and immediately the baby woke up from her nap. She’s got four teeth coming in, and we’ve been working on changing her schedule. For the past three nights, she has whined in her sleep all night – so mama hasn’t gotten much sleep. Work is kind of busy, and I’ve had this lingering abdominal pain since Sunday that just doesn’t want to seem to go away. I feel like I’m being pulled in so many different directions. As soon as I feel like I’ve got one thing under control, something else happens. I typed out a quick note on my phone this morning to address these complaints. At the end, however, I realized that by being bogged down by everything going on and everything I “have to” do, I was missing out on God’s plan for my day. Yes, He can help me take care of all that stuff (or show me that it’s not actually that important), but He can also give me opportunities to love those around me, to talk to someone who is lonely, or to be in the right place at the right time. It’s not about my to-do list, it’s about God’s will.
For this devotion, Jim used a quote from Oswald Chambers. I’m not going to write it out – BUT IT’S SO GOOD – but the gist of it is this: it’s easier to “live for God” on our own terms without actually consulting God. We can do “Christian-like” things that we’re comfortable with, without questioning if it is in fact what God has actually put on our hearts to do. Jim says, “if we choose to never hear Him, we will never find the true life of a disciple.” [Link to mentioned devotion and quotes here.]
This steps on my toes for two reasons: 1) My to-do list? Not that important after all. 2) What is God calling me to really do? Well, sometimes I find that tricky to discern. God made me a mother, and I feel like that’s the very most direct way we can follow the great commission: as parents, we are making disciples of our children; it’s hard and important work. Also, lately I’ve followed a blogger on Facebook. She posts inspirational, real, and sometimes funny things about motherhood, being a woman, and following Jesus. I’ve always loved to journal, and it’s definitely the most eloquent way I can get my thoughts down – I’m a terrible speaker, even in everyday conversation. I’ve also been reading The Magnolia Journal and the Gaines’ books. Joanna is all about living purposefully and authentically, and it really speaks to me. I’ve started to feel a little nudge; okay, so, I’ve actually heard the word, “words,” spoken to me while praying for God to show me how to use my talents for His purpose.
I remember writing this out, and my heart was racing. I had never spoken out loud that nudge I had been feeling, much less even written it down. The fact that I wrote it out, acknowledged it, made it seem so much more real, and so much more frightening. Of course, God knew that I knew before that. He knew that I was, and still am, scared. But, He also knows the great things He can accomplish through me if I just get out of the way. That is so very comforting.
As I said before, a lot of my bible journal entries are based on devotions from our minister, Jim, on Facebook. This is one of those. My last post, “Attacked”, was about how I was going through a rough time. I looked back at when I wrote that, and found the following devotion from the day before (link in comments). I think on top of all my other stress, I was feeling a lot convicted. Here’s what I wrote:
And He said him, “I will come and heal him.” But the centurion replied, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes, and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, He marveled and said to those who followed Him, “Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith…”
Matthew 8:7-10
God’s at it again, showing me things I know I’ve seen before in a new light. Jim challenged us to think about what God would say about our own faith.
It’s human nature to want physical evidence; our culture tells us that it’s necessary. What astounds me here is that Jesus speaking healing is good enough for the centurion. He doesn’t need Jesus to be there physically to heal his servant – he knows that if He says He’s going to, it’s already done. Why can’t we be more like this? Why can’t we rest more assured that Jesus is going to move, simply because He said He would? That is literally the definition of faith.
Another thing I noticed is that the centurion humbled himself. He realized that even though he was a “man under authority, with soldiers under [him],” that he wasn’t worthy of Jesus coming to his house. But, he recognized the power Jesus had and trusted His promises. In our culture, we are told that we deserve everything simply because we exist. In reality, the only thing we deserve is death, because we have sinned. But God made a way for us to escape that death; He sent Jesus to die for us so that we don’t have to. None of us are worthy of Jesus, but He’s there for us anyway.
That last verse gets me every time I read it now: Jesus, the son of God, who made all and is in all and knows all, marveled at a man’s faith. That doesn’t even compute with me really, but man do I want Jesus to marvel at my faith. I want to just trust He will do something because He said He would. I want to be humble and remember that I don’t deserve anything He gives me – but He gives it to me anyway.
So, I wrote these words this morning and I just had to share.
Hubby shared my blog on Facebook last night for our friends and family to see, and I’ve been scared to death ever since. On the flip side, I also have an overwhelming sense of peace, and I think it’s because I’m finally doing what God has called me to do after all this time of making excuses, stalling, and just flat out saying, “no.”
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Colossians 3:17
I stumbled across this verse this morning. I’ve read it hundreds of times, I’m sure, but today it had a whole new meaning. Isn’t the living Word amazing?! While I’m over here freaking out because I don’t want people to know my innermost thoughts or to see my vulnerabilities, I’m missing the point. My writing is to glorify Him and to help His people; it literally has nothing to do with me. I wouldn’t have words if He didn’t give me a mind to think them. I wouldn’t have experiences to share if He hadn’t given me my body, my life, the people around me. And I definitely wouldn’t have the courage to share any of it if it weren’t for the Holy Spirit, if it weren’t for the importance of what He’s called me to do. Everything I am is because of God and for God.
I will inevitably freak out again during this journey, because that’s just how I am. But, if I keep this verse at the front of my mind, I think my insecurities will disappear more quickly next time. God’s got this.
Also, I had to screenshot my “stats” from this thing since I started. Can you tell when hubby shared it on Facebook?
Do you ever start to think you’re doing okay in your spiritual walk? Like, personally, I see how far I’ve come, and I feel like I’m in a good place, and I start to get confident. And that’s great, but that confidence can easily turn into complacency. I know I start thinking that I’m good, maybe I don’t have to work so hard; maybe I can not think so much about what I’m doing; maybe I can skip that bible devotion today, because I’ve got a lot to do. Satan lets me slip into comfort, and that can be dangerous. I’ve always said there’s no stagnation with God. We’re either seeking Him and moving toward Him, or we’re falling away. There’s no sitting still. If we’re not growing, we’re shrinking. And God has a way of reminding me of that sometimes.
Yesterday, I read Romans 12:19-21 for Jim’s bible devotion.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him, if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing so you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Well, I’m good here, right? I really didn’t think I had a revenge issue. I’m not one who sits and plans out these big schemes to get someone back after they’ve wronged me; I don’t get joy out of hearing that some misfortune has happened to someone who is “hard to love.” I feel like for the most part, I genuinely want the best for everyone, even those who the world deems “undeserving.”
But then I read Jim’s devotion and got more than a little convicted. I’ve got some work to do, it turns out. Revenge doesn’t always look like this big, planned-out payback; it could be as small as honking at someone in traffic, Jim pointed out. Just because we don’t take this big, awful revenge, doesn’t necessarily mean our heart is in the right place either. I think I do what I’m calling “reactionary revenge” more than I would like to think. I am truly my most aggressive while I’m driving, so Jim’s random example really hit home. If you’ve ever ridden with me, you know what I mean. I really don’t even honk my horn unless something dangerous is happening, but man do I throw my hands up and yell… “what are you doing?!” “Use your turn signal!”… I get so bent out of shape when I’m driving.
I was trying to think of other areas of my life where I could improve upon this as well. I’m sure now that God has revealed this thing that I need to be aware of, I’ll start to see more. However, I did think about how when someone does something wrong to me or someone I love, I treat that person differently. I may not be as nice, or just completely ignore them. I may not be as inclined to help them. And that’s not right. I feel like that’s a really hard balance: treating someone with caution, because they have hurt you in the past, but still with Christian love. We humans sure can’t do that on our own. That whole “kill ’em with kindness” thing is easier said than done.
Guys, I really did start this blog because I feel God wanted me to. For quite a few years now, I have kept a [mostly] daily bible devotion journal. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened up an old one, only to read words that I absolutely needed to see. Words that I have already written speak to me months, sometimes years later. So, I feel like maybe I’m not the only one who needs to see these words. And here we are.
With that said, so far I’ve kept this thing pretty shallow. I’ve still been scared to write out my deepest thoughts for all the world to see. But, I’ve got to do it. I have to, because I’m called to. This is me being obedient… kicking and screaming the whole way.
A few background notes, for reference: I grew up in a Methodist church. We went to Sunday school every week, but rarely went to service unless it was Christmas or Easter or something. I went through confirmation when I was twelve (I’m pretty sure) and stood in front of the whole congregation and professed Christ. When I got too old to go to youth Sunday school anymore, I started going to my parents’ class. When I started dating my husband in college, he invited me to the college group at his Independent Christian church that met on Wednesday nights. [He introduced me as his “friend” the first time I went with him, haha!] I didn’t think about it at the time, but that was probably the best foundation we could have had starting out as a new couple. While we were dating and engaged, I would still attend Sunday school at the Methodist church, and then leave early so I could make service at hubby’s church. When we got married, I started just going with him every week. So, I’ve been at a church my whole life, but my faith has strengthened so very much since attending our current church.
Our preacher’s name is Jim. In these, you’ll probably see me reference him a whole lot. Jim is a “down home” kind of guy, who grew up in a small town. I love hearing him talk about the simplicity of his childhood. I feel like because of his background, he just relates so well to all kinds of people. The best part about Jim, though, is that he lets God use him, like really use him. And God speaks to me so very frequently through Jim, although he probably doesn’t even know. For a while now, he has been doing an online devotion where he posts different scripture and thoughts about it on Facebook each day. I am absolutely loving this. But, before he started this, there were so many times where I would do a verse or write down a thought I had during the week, and it would be exactly what he preached on Sunday. Coincidence? Nope.
Okay. Now that you’re all prepared to read… I’ve got to mentally prepare to write. More often than not, I will probably just type out one of my MANY bible journal entries. Scary. Pray for my strength, y’all. I know God can do big things if I just listen to what He would have me do. Here’s a little sneak peek of my bible journal. Sometimes a specific thought seems more important than the rest, and I have to write it again, to catch my attention later.
One of my favorite things to say.
Guys, honest moment here… my heart is racing just because I was trying to find something to picture here. I liked this certain page, but a voice in my head instantly said, “you didn’t write pretty enough there,” and “that looks awful, you messed up and scratched something out.” I passed it over, but couldn’t find exactly what I thought I was looking for. Then I came back to it. This is exactly what I’m trying to do: show my thoughts, the real me. The real me gets ahead of herself sometimes and has to scratch things out. The real me is also a perfectionist. It’s a battle.
coffeemamabogie 