Tag: expectation

Refreshed.

You visit the earth and water it; you greatly enrich it; the river of God is full of water; you provide their grain, for so you have prepared it. You water its furrows abundantly, settling in its ridges, softening it with showers, and blessing its growth.

Psalm 65:9+10

I have a weird relationship with water, which is a strange thing to say, but bear with me. I don’t like being wet; swimming is definitely not my favorite; I’m not a fan of being in the ocean; I don’t like going out on boats; bridges and ferries make me uncomfortable; I even get motion sickness at the aquarium. But, I do love to watch water. I love to sit and watch rain fall – I love the smell and the sound of it – rain makes me happy; I like hearing the ocean, the waves crashing in the distance; I love watching water rush over rocks in a creek; and I generally prefer water over anything else to drink [besides coffee of course, but you make that with water…so I’m thinking that still counts] I honestly feel like water quenches my thirst better than anything. I realized at some point in my life that I’m drawn to instances where God uses water to draw us closer to Him. Songs like “All My Fountains” by Chris Tomlin, “Oceans” by Hillsong, and more recently “In the River” by Jesus Culture seem to speak more deeply to me. Maybe it’s because one of my deepest fears is drowning. Not being able to breath in general is at the top of my list. When it’s not being able to breathe because there’s water… terrifying.

This Lifehouse song is [yeah, I know, super old] one of those songs that resonates with me every time I hear it. I always picture Peter stepping out of the boat completely focused on Jesus, only to get distracted and fall into the depths of the water. I love the reminder that Jesus is always there to catch us when we fall.

Anyway, this passage of scripture caught my attention from so many angles. I love the notion that God rains down showers upon us and quenches our thirst, He enriches us, He makes us productive, He settles into our souls that He has carefully prepared, He softens us, and He blesses us. Baby girl and I have been trying our hand at caring for an herb garden over the last few weeks. It’s always amazing to me what a little water and sun can produce. We have more basil than we know what to do with, the oregano that was barely started when we received the garden has taken off and grown so much, and the dill is so much bigger than it already was. The imagery of God watering us just hit in a different way than it has before. I understood that I am like that little herb, and God’s loving care showers down on me and helps me grow. I’ve grown a lot from where I started, and God can grow me even more.

This morning was superficially hard. Nothing major happened, but a bunch of minor annoyances made me lose sight of my purpose for today. [Side note: baby girl had a series of several weeks where she just woke up cranky and stayed that way all day. She was defiant and just plain mean. I decided I needed to help set a better example of gratefulness, especially in the mornings. So, we started doing what I call a “thankful board.” Each morning as she eats her breakfast, we read a story out of her Bible book, then make a list of three things we are thankful for. Sometimes she says things that are right in front of her (milk, doughnuts, etc.), which is fine. But sometimes she pulls stuff from nowhere and leaves me astounded. One morning, she said she was thankful for her eyes. The other day, she came up with “breath.” Long side note – sorry] So this morning baby girl woke up grumpy and didn’t want to do her thankful board. I was trying to keep my cool and encourage her, and she finally decided we would do it. We read the Bible story about Jonah and then I asked what she was thankful for. She said “nothing,” and didn’t want to do it. I told her that was okay and that I would write down some things I was thankful for instead. Then she said, “no, no, I want to do it!” She immediately listed off, seemingly out of nowhere, “water, singing birds, and letters!” The water could have been from the Jonah story, but she hadn’t said anything about it before that moment. Anyway, that was my first “water hint” of the day. As the day went on and those minor annoyances I mentioned compounded, I could feel myself getting more nervous, anxious, and on edge. I was also physically thirsty. I kept hearing this still, small voice whisper that I needed to be “refreshed.” That particular word is not one that I generally think to use, so it was strange to me that it kept popping into my head. I had just laid baby girl down for a nap, started a cup of coffee, and turned on The Dick Van Dyke Show (my go-to feel-good show) when I felt a nagging. I will admit that I didn’t listen to it right away. I watched an episode and and finished my coffee, but my bible was sitting in front of me on the coffee table, just waiting to be opened. When I finally reached and grabbed it, I decided that I needed a pick-me-up, so I turned to Psalms. This passage jumped out at me. I read it, and the day’s “theme” just made complete sense. I did feel refreshed. I felt renewed. My attitude completely changed. I’m so incredibly thankful for the way God works. I love the gentle reminders and loving nudges He sends us through the Holy Spirit. And I’m always in awe of how He can use something in His word that I’ve read before to speak to me in a completely new way.

Refining.

So, those of you who read my last blog post know that satan was testing us after we made a commitment to tithe regularly. Well, just as He promised, God was faithful. My husband gets a commission check on top of his regular salary, which is already amazing. It allows me to only work part-time and still stay home with baby girl. Well, his last commission check was SEVERAL HUNDRED dollars more than usual. Don’t tell me for a second that wasn’t orchestrated. We are never without what we need. We are abundantly blessed. Anyway, the following is from a few weeks ago, but God laid it on my heart to talk about it tonight.

(6) In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, (7) so that the tested genuineness of your faith – more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Christ. (8) Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, (9) obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:6-9

Sunday night I was looking for a verse to help motivate me for the upcoming week and stumbled upon this passage. I wrote myself a note to look specifically at verse 8 again, but when I opened my bible this whole passage really spoke to me. If we’re looking for a reason for all the bad things that happen to us, this is it. “Getting through” the trials of our lives is usually all we strive for because it’s miserable and we can’t wait for whatever it is to go away. What if instead we looked at trials as a chance to put our faith into action? What if instead of focusing on how bad our life is and feeling sorry for ourselves, we looked for opportunities to use it for God’s purpose, to show God’s love, and to strengthen our own faith? I had never thought of my faith in God as more precious and stronger than gold.

And then there’s verse 8. Only when you have truly experienced Christ can you understand this verse, I believe. I think this is what the world has so much trouble understanding about Christians. No, I haven’t physically seen Jesus, but man have I seen Him at work in my life. Yeah, some days (okay, actually, every day) it would be so much easier to follow Him if He were physically standing next to me giving me a play-by-play on what to do and say next. I would LOVE that. But, that’s just not how He operates. He loves us enough to give us freedom, and with that freedom comes lots and lots of choices. The inexpressible joy comes from following Him and seeing that His way is the best way; it comes from knowing that we are free, but we are not alone – He’s holding us every step of the way.Verse 9 didn’t speak to me much at first, but as I read it again I began to better understand. Our faith is just that – it’s our own. Jesus died for every single one of us, but it’s our own faith that determines the outcome. That’s why our faith is more precious than gold and why it has to be tested and refined. Seeking God is always important, but it is especially important in times when it seems hardest. Those are the times when God is really working on our hearts. If we’re just “getting by”, we will miss it.

Tithe

Last week was a crazy week. This week has been much more calm, and I’ve had some time to process. So, it all started two weekends ago, actually, when a car that we normally couldn’t afford showed up at my husband’s work (he works in the automotive industry) in exactly our price range. We had been discussing needing a new one in the near future – ours has the possibility of some transmission issues and our extended warranty has expired. We’ve always had issues with the air conditioning not being cool enough, and there’s no rear A/C, so it takes baby girl forever to cool down in the backseat in the summer. Plus, the paint looks awful (and I know that doesn’t affect how well the car drives, but it literally looks like I drove through an acid hail storm.) I did not think, however, we would be thinking about purchasing another one so soon. Anyway, this car turns up and it checks all the boxes on my “must-have” list for a new car: heated seats (we had these in a previous car and I miss them so much), heated mirrors, rear heating and air, and enough room for all our stuff – especially the mound of stuff we take on vacation with us. My husband inquired about the car and turns out, it was priced that low by mistake, but they’re willing to honor it. Well, that seemed too perfect. So, that night he and I discussed it, then I prayed about it before bed. I had a very clear dream that night that I asked God for a sign that we should buy this car, and He provided it. But, still clearer in my dream, God told me to give Him what was His first. We’ve been spotty tithers the last few years. At first, I blamed it on the new baby, then “mom brain” made me forget, but somewhere along the way I let it become of little importance in my mind. I’d give when I remembered, and sometimes not even then because we had extra bills that month or whatever. You don’t have to give me a tithing sermon, I know deep in my soul the importance of giving God back what He so graciously gives us. I just let it become a wedge. It kept separating me further and further from God’s plan for my life. It wasn’t good. Then a few months ago, hubby told me that our church was now doing automatic withdrawal for tithing. I know, it sounds sort of cold, but it was exactly the commitment and accountability I needed. I wanted to give, I just either let it slip my mind, or rationalized my way out of it when it came time to actually do it. I was not a “cheerful giver.” He and I both agreed that this was something we needed to do, but, again, for whatever reason, we hadn’t done it yet. So, when I had my dream, I knew exactly what we needed to do before anything else. Sunday we got the form and set up our tithes to be withdrawn from our account automatically.

Monday was incredibly warm for a February day. Our hot water had been running out pretty quickly for some time, so hubby went to Lowe’s and got an element to change out to see if that helped. Baby girl and I had already played outside, but daddy was going and she wanted to go too. I really had more work I needed to do, but I put it off until later and took her back outside (a 10 or 11 PM clock out time is pretty normal for me anymore.) Hubby got under the house and started working on the water heater. He came out a few minutes later and told me that the whole bottom of the unit had rusted out, and there was no way to fix it. My mind immediately started spinning. We had talked about, down the road that included a home improvement loan, putting in a tankless water heater. I start trying to figure out how to make something work, but my head just kept getting fuzzy. Too. Much. Big. Decision. Making. We talked about calling a plumber we know and discussing our options with him, but it was already like 5 PM, and it was supposed to rain the rest of the week. Hubby ended up finding a tank that would fit in our short crawlspace in stock at Lowe’s, so he went off to get that while I fed baby girl dinner. He got home and started working while I put baby girl to bed. I finally went out to check on him and I felt so helpless. I asked what I could do to help, and he said, “just keep me company.” There was a lot of crawling around in the dirt under the house, turning on faucets, and walking back and forth through the yard. My sweet husband was under the house on his hands and knees in the dark working so hard so that we could have hot water. He’s literally the best.

Tuesday morning baby girl woke up a few minutes earlier than usual screaming her head off. She had a stuffy nose, but other than that seemed fine. She ate a few bites of breakfast and said she was done. As the morning went on, I could tell she was congested. I called the pediatrician to find out the correct dosage for some benadryl, and we turned the shower on really hot and sat in the steamy bathroom for a while. When we got out, she really started acting pitiful. I could hear that she had some drainage in her throat, and she ended up gagging on it and throwing up. I thought that was all it was, but she ended up vomiting about 10 times throughout the day. She couldn’t keep anything down.

Wednesday she was almost more pitiful because you could tell she felt better enough to want to play, but she didn’t have the energy to. She barely ate all day, but did eat a fairly good dinner. We sat on the couch and cuddled most of the day.

Thursday she was much more like herself, with only a few pitiful moments in between. She still hardly ate anything. That morning I had so much energy. I changed the sheets and washed the dirty ones, started straightening up a spot in our bedroom that has been a mess since we moved here, did more laundry, did some proactive and productive things for work, did the dishes, and just straightened up anything else out of place along the way. I was so stinking productive. I was sitting on the couch working when baby girl woke up from her nap. I went to get up, and I noticed I was kind of sore all over. My throat had been a little scratchy that morning, but I figured it was sleeping with my mouth open. That afternoon, I could feel constant drainage running down the back of my throat, and it was getting progressively worse. By the time 3 o’clock rolled around, I was pretty miserable. That night I laid in bed and my arms and legs just ached. I could barely swallow and when I did I gagged on what was in my throat. My poor, sweet girl… no wonder she was pitiful. It was miserable. Luckily I skipped the vomiting part, but it’s now Monday night and I’m still not 100%

Sweet girl starting to feel better. Dressing up and a good book are a great remedy for the yuckies.

Baby girl and I stayed home from church yesterday so we didn’t spread our germs and I’m glad we did. She had a meltdown after she woke up from her nap that lasted an hour. I’m still not exactly sure what was wrong, but she acted like something hurt. We finally gave her some pain medicine and after it had just enough time to kick in, she finally calmed down. Even today, she’s had crying spells, she hasn’t wanted to walk much at all but instead wants to be carried everywhere, and we’ve sat and cuddled more than we’ve done anything else. I told my husband today that I’m not going to lie – I kind of like it when she starts whining [okay, I really don’t like the whining part] and says, “I need to cuddle mama.” There were months and months after she was born, maybe even a whole year, where she just did not like to cuddle. So, even though it’s not super conducive to me getting things done, it makes me happy to hear that she wants to cuddle. I do hate that it’s because she doesn’t feel good. We’re going on a week that she’s been off.

Anyway, we made a commitment to give God some of the money He has blessed us with, and look, satan immediately freaked out. He attacked us hard. Nope, I’m not taking that money back to pay for whatever you’re throwing at me. You can’t threaten me. I KNOW that when I bless God, a wonderful side effect of it is that He will bless me right back again. I have no room for your financial strains and sickness. Bye.

The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully… He who supplies the seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.

2 Corinthians 9:6 & 10

So, obviously it’s Wednesday now…I started writing this last week and finished Monday. Word vomit. I think I write these things to process them, to kind of take a step back and see them from a different perspective than the one I have when I’m smack dab in the middle of it. Also, it’s way easier to recognize satan’s attacks when you take a step back. I think I also just want to remember these things. Broken water heaters and sickness are real life. It may not be the picture-perfect moment that I’ll remember 20 years from now, but it’s still our life right now.

Birthday.

Waiting at yet another doctor’s appointment… figured I could write. So, my baby girl’s birthday is coming up. She will be TWO and this mama is feeling like time has skipped ahead. I just realized that the day we are having her party was her original due date in 2018. She ended up coming a week and a day early, but the date is still in my mind.

Last year, for her first birthday, my husband’s sweet cousin kind of took over the party planning because I mentally checked out. I was super overwhelmed by all the Pinterest-perfect ideas and all the things you “must” have and do. My advice? Don’t do what I did. Don’t freak out. Getting together with friends and family who love your child is the important thing. And don’t go broke over a one year old’s birthday party – it’s not worth it.

I used things I already had and bought things I could use again.

I knew I didn’t want to spend a ton of money on a bunch of chintzy items that were single use. After all, my kid was just turning one. Yes, the world makes a huge deal about it, but the fact is she won’t remember. She will have pictures to see what it was like later, but the party was really for the adults. Because of that, and because I really can’t stand useless waste, we tried to buy things we could use again and use things we already had.

The floral fields pattern from Target. It also has gold dots incorporated into some of the pieces. These exact flowers are stickers that are over her bed.

Her room is decorated in light pink and mint with some gold, and so we went with that color scheme. Several things in her room are from the Floral Fields collection of the Cloud Island products at Target, so we used that as inspiration for her party. I ended up buying a paper “happy birthday” sign at Hobby Lobby with those colors. I saved this sign and plan on using it this year as well. I bought a couple little porcelain jars in the dollar spot at Target (I refuse to call it Bullseye’s Playground or whatever it is now…) to decorate with and hold pushpins for a cork board I got at Hobby Lobby (more on that in a minute.) We also bought at Hobby Lobby a picture frame that held twelve photos, one for each month of her first year. We paid a bit for it, but justified it by saying that we could reuse it again by changing the words on it and turning around the clips (see pics).

I made a few things more cheaply than I could have bought them.

As far as making things, I wanted everything to kind of flow, so I bought some gold paint. I couldn’t find a “1” that wasn’t an arm and a leg that I liked for her cupcake, so I bought a cheap wooden one and painted it. I got OBSESSED with that gold paint, and started painting EVERYTHING gold, haha. The corkboard that I mentioned earlier, I used a stencil and sponge and painted some gold dots on it. I LOVE how it turned out, and it’s hanging in her room right now. I also ended up painting the pushpins as well, because GOLD PAINT! At the party, we had some heart-shaped post-its and pens out for family and friends to write her a note.

Ignore the unflattering chin shot of my kid, but here is the one I painted in GOLD PAINT!

I adore this corkboard. It’s one of my favorite pieces in her room and it’s so simple. We mostly use it to display artwork.

All I had to paint with at the time was a partially dried out craft sponge, but it made a really neat effect on the pins.

I also framed a piece of wallpaper that came from her room before we renovated, and I painted the matte for it with that gold paint. [Backstory for those who don’t know, we live in what used to be my granny’s house where I spent many weekends as a child. The room baby girl is in now used to be “my room”, so it holds a lot of precious memories.] I used a dry erase marker and wrote on the glass, and used it as a sign to explain the corkboard. This also is still in her room – I use it to write different notes and sayings on it.

In all honesty, I hadn’t changed this in forever until I typed out this post. I went a little overboard with the chalk markers while changing it up… I forgot how fun they are!

I made a banner for her high chair out of a sheet of pink foam and glitter letter stickers from Hobby Lobby and some string we had at home. (I also added a touch of the gold paint!) I plan on reusing this for this year’s party as well – I have more letters and “two” is the same amount of letters, so it works!

I reused things I already had.

We reused balloons that spelled out her name from one of her baby showers (they are all still inflated, except for one letter – I really want to reuse these again this year as well!)

I spent money on the important things, got the other things as cheaply as I could, and even borrowed a few things.

Where I spent most of the money for my sweet girl’s birthday was on the cake. And actually, my wonderful momma had already sneaked and paid for the cake before we went to pick it up. We have an amazing little bakery on Main Street and I absolutely love the cakes from there. It may cost a little more than if we bought it at the grocery store, but their cakes are amazing, and I like to support local businesses when I can! I just ordered this year’s cake from there, and I’m sure it will be phenomenal.

So delicious and GORGEOUS ❤

We bought generic pink and white plates, napkins, and plastic tablecloths from Dollar Tree. We had her party in the sanctuary of our church, so we were able to use several serving trays and bowls from the church’s kitchen.

Super simple food spread. We only did sweets because it was after lunchtime.

I even used a gift as decor.

Hubby’s cousin that did a lot of the planning made a letter “E” out of artificial flowers for baby girl that we used to decorate with as well. It hangs in her room, and I plan on incorporating it into this year’s party too.

How crazy talented is hubby’s cousin?!

I really like the challenge of reusing items and repurposing decor from our house. It saves money, and there’s not as much useless junk that you don’t know what to do with laying around. I’ll do another post about this year’s party later!

Moral of the story: a first birthday is just that, a first birthday. Your kid won’t remember it. It’s nice to get loved ones together, but I got seriously bent out of shape over it for no reason. The world puts way too much pressure on us as mamas to have everything just so, and it’s really not necessary. I recall when I was ordering the cake for this first birthday, the lady asked what kind of smash cake I wanted. When I told her I wasn’t doing one, she looked a little taken aback. Why is this even a thing? No judgement whatsoever if you have done one or are doing one, but personally, that’s too much wasted cake! A cupcake was a much better size for my tiny one year old who had barely ever had sugar before, and the effect was pretty much the same, I feel. Also, why break the bank? Spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a huge, fancy party for a one year old is quite over the top if you think about it. I’m trying to keep it as cheap as possible, but still nice and put together. I feel like baby girl’s first party was nice, and I didn’t have to sell a kidney to pay for it. I’m aiming for that again this year – no kidney selling please!

Cheer.

Bear with me, guys. I’ve been working on this particular post all week when I have time, so parts of the post were written at different times.

It’s the day before Christmas eve and I’m sitting here doing something I never do – holding my daughter while she takes a nap. She will be two next month, and I’m pretty sure I can count on one hand how many times we’ve done this since she started sleeping in her own bed at around four months. I don’t know if she’s getting sick, if she’s just growing, or if it’s simply the chaos of Christmas, but this kid has been out of whack for a couple of weeks. She whines ALL THE TIME (and if you know me, you know I can’t stand whining), she’s been sleeping way longer than normal at night, waking up later than usual (I slept in until 8 AM last Saturday – I literally haven’t done that since she was born), and being extra cuddly (which is so unlike her). It could be that her sleeping schedule keeps getting messed up because of various outings, or because of all the different and not-so-great-for-you food we’ve been letting her eat (like the entire snickerdoodle cookie she ate last night.) Whatever it is, she’s out of sorts. So, here we are, sitting in the chair in her room, all cuddled up in a blanket. She is still sniffling in her sleep from crying even after at least 45 minutes of sitting here. I feel bad, because I tried so hard to comfort her and get her to sleep in her bed like she does every other day. I told her no when she said she wanted to “cuddle mama,” because it has become to her a kind of distraction from doing things she doesn’t want to do. But, after her screaming uncontrollably for a few minutes, I couldn’t take it. She was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe. And as much as I love cuddling this sweet girl while she sleeps, I don’t want this to become a thing. I don’t want her to learn to scream uncontrollably when something isn’t really wrong because she knows that eventually she’ll get her way. I don’t want her to think that she can’t fall asleep on her own anymore and undo all the work we did getting her to sleep as well as she does. Why is this so hard?

Cuddling my whiny baby.

Now, it’s 1:30 AM and I’m still laying here awake. I stayed up to finish wrapping presents and now I’m wired. Hubby has been complaining more than usual that he’s tired, and I can visibly see that he’s exhausted. He hasn’t slept well in years, and he’s finally got a sleep study consultation scheduled next month (after much nagging on my part.) But, I feel like his sleeping has gotten worse recently… kind of around the time baby girl’s started being noticeably out of whack. I don’t know what’s going on, but between all the busyness of the season and worrying about my people’s sleep, I’m not sleeping either. I keep hearing baby girl talk in her sleep or cry out, and, bless his heart, hubby’s snoring isn’t super conducive to either of us getting much sleep. We’re a family of zombies lately.

I write all this to say that even though sometimes we think people’s holiday season looks picture-perfect, it’s more than likely not really. If you look at the December album on my Facebook, it looks like we have it all together. In reality we’re all so tired, I have about fifty of the same picture on my phone from trying to get that one perfect shot, we’re doing the third load of dishes today and somehow the sink is still full, the laundry is piled high, I still have people to buy Christmas gifts for, I’m worried about us getting sick (there are SO MANY germs out there right now), and I’m trying to find the balance of handling all this and just living in and enjoying the moment. Those are usually the only parts anyone ever sees. But, if you’ve been struggling, you’re not alone. No one’s holiday season is actually perfect; we just have to choose to see our own chaos, whatever it looks like, as perfect to us.

My kid was SUPER over opening Christmas gifts.

I’ve been super guilty in the past of building up my expectations (especially holiday expectations) so high that they can’t possibly be met, and then getting so disappointed when my “plans” didn’t turn out. I think I did better this year. I’ve been trying to live more intentionally. I’ve been trying to enjoy each moment for what it is instead of what I think it should be. God has shown me a lot lately that my plans are not His plans, and that’s perfectly fine because His plan is better. He keeps reminding me, and I’ve been trying to do better about just going with the flow and appreciating the ride. Movie nights with hot chocolate and matching pajama photos are fine, but do you know what else is great? Reading the same book with my daughter over and over again because she wants “mama read again,” taking a different way home than you normally would so your daughter can see the giant blow up Santa on top of the government building downtown, late-night dinner and grocery store runs with your husband to get a few last-minute gifts, staying up late to make biscuit dough for a Christmas brunch with your family, and sitting in the quiet room with the Christmas tree all lit up.

The everyday, unplanned, and messy moments are the moments. They make up the majority of our whole lives. If we just keep waiting and wishing for those fleeting picture-perfect moments, we will end up disappointed. Our lives will pass us by without us even realizing it.

Making goodies with my girl. Glad her daddy caught this “picture-perfect” moment because it lasted about two seconds.

Christmas and Easter.

Y’all, this is why I say that my kid doesn’t really play with toys. She does, but most don’t hold her attention for very long. She would rather play with random items that she can move from one place to another. When I looked down and saw this scene today, I thought it was a little ironic.

Ever since Easter, this basket of plastic eggs has been one of her favorite things to play with. She carries it around, takes the eggs out and puts them somewhere else, sometimes opening them and then shutting them again on the way, and then carries them one by one back to the basket. It could entertain her for hours.

Sometimes our kids don’t act like we think they “should.” They don’t play with the expensive toys they have, they don’t like the things we want them to. They are their own people. Life is like this is as well. Often times, we have very specific plans for our lives because the world tells us we should. But, God has much bigger, better plans, and life rarely looks like we think it should. Sometimes, living in the moment looks like a bunny basket of Easter eggs under the Christmas tree. And that’s okay.

Full disclosure, this started out as an Instagram post, but I got a little long-winded. I keep feeling uninspired to write, but apparently all I have to do is start, and the words come. I see you, satan, trying to keep me from my calling. Not cool.