Guys, I really did start this blog because I feel God wanted me to. For quite a few years now, I have kept a [mostly] daily bible devotion journal. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened up an old one, only to read words that I absolutely needed to see. Words that I have already written speak to me months, sometimes years later. So, I feel like maybe I’m not the only one who needs to see these words. And here we are.

With that said, so far I’ve kept this thing pretty shallow. I’ve still been scared to write out my deepest thoughts for all the world to see. But, I’ve got to do it. I have to, because I’m called to. This is me being obedient… kicking and screaming the whole way.

A few background notes, for reference: I grew up in a Methodist church. We went to Sunday school every week, but rarely went to service unless it was Christmas or Easter or something. I went through confirmation when I was twelve (I’m pretty sure) and stood in front of the whole congregation and professed Christ. When I got too old to go to youth Sunday school anymore, I started going to my parents’ class. When I started dating my husband in college, he invited me to the college group at his Independent Christian church that met on Wednesday nights. [He introduced me as his “friend” the first time I went with him, haha!] I didn’t think about it at the time, but that was probably the best foundation we could have had starting out as a new couple. While we were dating and engaged, I would still attend Sunday school at the Methodist church, and then leave early so I could make service at hubby’s church. When we got married, I started just going with him every week. So, I’ve been at a church my whole life, but my faith has strengthened so very much since attending our current church.

Our preacher’s name is Jim. In these, you’ll probably see me reference him a whole lot. Jim is a “down home” kind of guy, who grew up in a small town. I love hearing him talk about the simplicity of his childhood. I feel like because of his background, he just relates so well to all kinds of people. The best part about Jim, though, is that he lets God use him, like really use him. And God speaks to me so very frequently through Jim, although he probably doesn’t even know. For a while now, he has been doing an online devotion where he posts different scripture and thoughts about it on Facebook each day. I am absolutely loving this. But, before he started this, there were so many times where I would do a verse or write down a thought I had during the week, and it would be exactly what he preached on Sunday. Coincidence? Nope.

Okay. Now that you’re all prepared to read… I’ve got to mentally prepare to write. More often than not, I will probably just type out one of my MANY bible journal entries. Scary. Pray for my strength, y’all. I know God can do big things if I just listen to what He would have me do. Here’s a little sneak peek of my bible journal. Sometimes a specific thought seems more important than the rest, and I have to write it again, to catch my attention later.

Guys, honest moment here… my heart is racing just because I was trying to find something to picture here. I liked this certain page, but a voice in my head instantly said, “you didn’t write pretty enough there,” and “that looks awful, you messed up and scratched something out.” I passed it over, but couldn’t find exactly what I thought I was looking for. Then I came back to it. This is exactly what I’m trying to do: show my thoughts, the real me. The real me gets ahead of herself sometimes and has to scratch things out. The real me is also a perfectionist. It’s a battle.